


The Million Moving Shapes of Shadow

by richbrook



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:21:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richbrook/pseuds/richbrook
Summary: As Molly feels increasingly isolated, Hosea reaches out.
Relationships: Molly O'Shea/Dutch van der Linde
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	The Million Moving Shapes of Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Slight TW for suicidal thoughts/ideation

The water at Clemens Point was eerily still tonight. The sun had long dipped below the horizon but the moon was full and silver beams illuminated the shore. Molly watched its reflection shimmer on the water surface and contemplated wading out to it. Her skirts would weigh her down and she was not a strong swimmer, but that did not seem to matter. Perhaps she would take some respite in succumbing to water and just letting go.

 _How long before anyone would even notice that she was missing?_ She wondered.

_Would he even pretend to shed a tear?_

“Miss O’Shea. Mind if I join you?”

Molly started and whipped around. “Hosea, hello,” she said, blinking herself back to reality. “Of course, have a seat.”

He smiled and sat on the beside her on the log. “Nice night, isn’t it?”

“Mm.” She hummed noncommittally. “It’s warmer here at least.”

“Indeed, it is.” Hosea nodded and they sat in silence for some minutes, gazing out at the water and listening to the chorus of bullfrogs in the reeds and the distant chatter from camp behind them.

Molly was not uncomfortable in the silence per se. Hosea was always polite to her and seemed a decent man. She could not recall a time they had ever been alone together, however, which gave credence to her sneaking suspicion that he wanted to discuss something.

“How are you, Molly?” he said eventually. “I mean, how are you really?”

“I’m grand,” she replied. “Just adjusting to the new place like everyone else.”

“Hmm.” Hosea seemed unconvinced. “I heard… a great deal of commotion from the two of you this evening.”

Molly felt her cheeks flush with heat. She was sure half of Rhodes had heard her and Dutch arguing earlier.

“Our tempers. We’re both a pair of hot-heads,” she shook her head. “We get carried away and say things we don’t mean to each other. I’m sorry you had to be subjected to it.”

“Oh, no need to apologise.” Hosea smiled. “It’s the most natural thing in the world for couples to fight.”

“Did you and your wife ever have screaming matches like that?” Molly arched an eyebrow at him, already confident of the answer.

“Well.. no.” He conceded. “But she wasn’t the confrontational sort. Not that she was some shrinking violet, mind you. It just wasn’t in her nature. I think the one time I ever did raise my voice towards her she laughed me out of the room.”

“I bet you never gave her any reason to get too worked up. Not really”

“Oh, I did more than my fair share, believe me. Bessie was a saint to put up with me for as long as she did.” He smiled wistfully and gazed out at the water. He appeared lost in thought for a moment before he turned to face her. “But I’ll bore you with my stories another time, my dear. The reason I’m here is to check in on you- see how you’re really doing. You and Dutch seem to be at each other’s throats more often than not these days.”

Molly bristled. She had not thought it was that obvious. Sure, they had their blow-outs, most of them more public than they’d both like, but they still had their moments of tenderness with each other. Rapidly dwindling though they were.

Unless Dutch had spoken with Hosea before he had stormed off God knows where. Maybe this was it. It had all gotten too much for him and he had given Hosea instructions to give Molly her marching orders, to invite her to leave the camp for good. Her eyes stung with tears at the thought.

“I love him, Hosea,” she said, her lip trembling. “God forgive me, but I’d die before I leave him.”

“Hush now, don’t say a thing that.” Hosea frowned and put his arm around her shoulders. He drew her close to his side and squeezed her gently. “Where’s all this coming from, hm?”

“He wants me to leave, doesn’t he?” Molly wept against Hosea’s shoulder. “He’s had his fill and now he wants to be rid of me.”

“Nonsense, he wants no such thing.” Hosea said firmly. “And besides, you’re one of us now. We’re family. The only reason you’ll leave this camp is if _you_ decide to do so.”

Molly sniffed and drew in a shaky breath. His waistcoat smelled of tobacco and pine needles. It was grounding. He was a warm and solid presence beside her. It felt nice to be held by him.

“He didn’t tell you to get me to leave?” she breathed.

“Of course he didn’t,” Hosea said. “I haven’t talked to him since this morning and I don’t know where he is tonight.”

“He said he needed some space.” Molly said miserably. “Went riding off God knows where with Bill and Micah.”

“I see.” Molly could hear the disapproval in his tone.

“He hates me, Hosea.” She sat up and wiped her tear-stained cheeks. “He loathes the sight of me. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong.”

Hosea’s lips thinned. “He doesn’t hate you and you have done nothing wrong. Dutch is--” he sighed and shook his head. “He’s under a lot of strain at the moment. That doesn’t excuse how he’s been treating you but… he’s not been himself of late.”

“I feel like I don’t know him at all anymore.” Molly agreed. “He used to tell me he loved me all the time, he’d read sonnets to me, write his own poetry about me even. Used to be he couldn’t keep his hands off more for a few—” She hesitated, conscious of her company. “Sorry. You don’t want to hear that.”

“It’s fine.” Hosea grinned. “I was young once too, you know.”

“I just feel like he’s a completely different man now.” Molly continued. “He’s so cold and withdrawn, he’ll barely look at me sideways. We used to share everything and stay up talking until all hours of the morning… Now he can barely stand to be in my company for longer than a few minutes.”

“I see.” Hosea said, listening intently.

“Pathetic as it is, I prefer it when he shouts at me. When he calls me cruel names…” she said bitterly. “At least then I’m getting _some_ sort of reaction from him instead of this... coldness.” Dutch’s ability to silence her with a glare would almost be impressive if it weren’t so devastating in its efficacy. She never felt worse than when he would punish her with stony silence or dismiss her with a disdainful look. At least when he was shouting at her he was devoting some of his energy and attention to her. His eyes would come alive again, albeit they were burning with fury, but it was better than that blank icy stare.

Hosea’s brow furrowed with concern. “You shouldn’t have to tolerate that.”

“And then there’ll be these moments where the man I fell in love with comes back to me again.” Molly smiled softly, despite herself. “Out of nowhere he’ll touch me so gently and so affectionately and he’ll tell me how much I mean to him or he’ll kiss me breathless and I fall in love with him all over again.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Not in the slightest.” Hosea said sincerely. “You’re human, Molly. He shouldn’t toy with your emotions like that.”

“You know I was betrothed before?” She said, unsure why she was divulging this information to Hosea when she had not even told Dutch. “Back in Ireland.”

“I did not know that.”

“Cormac Geraghty.” She had not said his name aloud in years. Had hardly allowed herself to even think it. “He was a sweet boy from a good family. Would have gotten 50 acres if I married him and the biggest house in the diocese to go with it.”

“A big shot farmer huh?”

“His grandfather was. Cormac was training to be a solicitor like his father.” She sighed ruefully. “My sister married a national school teacher and I thought what a boring life she would lead-- I actually _pitied_ her. I said I’d never settle like that. I had grand notions of adventures in a new world.” She scoffed and shook her head. “So I broke Cormac’s heart and off I went on the next ship across the Atlantic and well… here I am now.”

“Do you miss it terribly?” Hosea said after a moment’s silence. “Home, I mean.”

“Not at all.” Molly said truthfully. Ireland was unfamiliar to her now, a distant memory from another lifetime. Like some place from a dream she could not quite remember. It was over a year ago she had last received a letter from her sister. She had two sons and a daughter then. Cormac had married some barrister’s daughter from Kildare and they were forbidden from mentioning Molly’s name at home, for fear it would send Mam into a fit of crying again.

No. Home was somewhere different now. Somewhere transient and remote. Home, to her, was wherever Dutch was. It was for him that her heart yearned. It was he who made her very soul ache.

“I miss the times before I knew him. Back when I thought I knew myself.”

They watched the water in silence in for a few minutes. Distantly, they heard the smash of a bottle back in camp followed by uproarious laughter and chanting. Hosea broke the comfortable silence first.

“Dutch is like a brother to me,” he said. “More than that even. Our bonds run deeper than blood.”

Molly nodded. “He cares about you very much.”

“He’s a good man, capable of great love in his heart. But sometimes… he’s so fixated on his aspirations—on an _idea_ —that he can’t see what’s right before him.”

She thought about it for a moment. “I think I understand.”

“He’s always searching for something more. More money, more freedom, more happiness.” Hosea shook his head wearily and with the moonlight illuminating the planes of his face, Molly thought for the first time he looked like an old man. “Someday he’ll look back and realise we were happy just as we were. I just hope that realisation doesn’t come too late. For all of our sakes.”

“Will he ever come back to me?” Molly asked, taking his weather-beaten hand in her own. “Tell me good and true, Hosea. You need not spare me the truth.”

He blinked down at their hands. “Would that I could tell you, child.” He said sympathetically, patting the back of her hand gently. “If he comes round to his senses, he’d see that he has a bright, beautiful woman by his side and he’d do right by you. In the meantime, you need to look after yourself first.”

Molly was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re a young girl with your whole life ahead of you and it’s not worth throwing away over an old man who won’t give you the attention you deserve.”

She drew her hand away from his. “You do want me to leave.”

“No. Quite the opposite, in fact.” Hosea said adamantly. “I think you should stay and hold your head up high. Go about your own business here in camp and get to know some of the other folk here. We’re not all so bad, you know.”

“Right, of course.” Molly said sardonically. “They all hate me. They’d want nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true. I think you’re a lovely girl, even if you are stubborn as a mule. But that might just be the Celtic blood in you.” Hosea nudged her playfully with his elbow and Molly could not help but smile. “You just have to give people a chance.” he said. “Take Arthur for example. He’s a man of few words but despite appearances he’s got a heart of gold and he’ll always look out for you.”

Molly nodded in agreement. She had few interactions alone with Arthur, but he had always perfectly pleasant to her and he seemed to enjoy a good relationship with most people at camp.

“The women all want to be your friend too,” he continued. “I know Miss Grimshaw can be an ol’ battle axe at times, but she cares passionately for her girls. She’s a good one to have on your side.”

“I suppose you’re right,” she sighed.

“We’re all a family here, Molly. Let people get to know you. You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy it.”

“Alright. I will,” she acquiesced. “But I’m not going near that creep Micah. I don’t care what Dutch says about him. That man ain’t right.”

Mam always told her a woman’s first line of defence was her instinct and to never ignore her gut feelings about a man. The moment she first laid eyes on Micah Bell she became uneasy. On the occasions when he would sidle into Dutch’s tent (which were becoming increasingly regular) he would leer at her until she took her leave, but not before sneaking a conspicuous glance at her breasts. The thought of him made her skin crawl.

“You’re right there.” Hosea said, grim-faced. “Best steer clear of his ilk.”

They lulled into companionable silence once more and Molly watched the stars. Her heart felt considerably lighter. Still broken and aching for Dutch, but the pain was no longer all-consuming. It was all together more bearable now and for the first time in as long as she could remember, Molly did not feel so desperately alone.

“Thank you, Hosea,” she said sincerely, smiling softly and squeezing his hand. “For being so kind to me.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled and not for the first time, Molly thought about how handsome he was and what a lucky woman his wife was to have had a husband so caring and generous. “No need to thank me, my dear,” he said. “You’re a sweet girl, Molly. Try and be kinder to yourself, alright? We do worry about you.”

“I will, Hosea,” she promised. “Thank you.”

“Good girl,” he winked and stood, his knees cracking audibly. “Now, would you do this old man the honour of joining me round the campfire with the others?” He offered his arm to her, his eyes twinkling with mischief, making him look twenty years younger. “I heard Bill and Uncle squabbling over the finer points of latrine digging earlier and I sort of fancy stirring the proverbial pot for a spot of evening entertainment.”

Molly surprised herself and laughed. She had forgotten what it felt like. “I’d be delighted to, Hosea." She rose and linked her arm through his. "Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Molly deserved better and I love Hosea with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns.
> 
> Title is from the Bell Jar.
> 
> HMU on Tumblr @ himboarthurmorgan for any requests


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